SeX eXpLoSiOn eXpErT

Day 45 - May 16, 2007

Well, today marks the end of the bet. Mission accomplished. Bet completed. Unleash the rage that is within my pants. I've learned a lot through this experience. During this time, women became less of an object and I've become more appreciative of the female body. I've kept my word and went through 45 days of hell. I kind of felt like this everyday:

Sex was on my mind every single day throughout the 45 day period. I did say at the beginning it would take motivation, dedication, and every fiber of my being. Now at the end of it, I am a stronger person and I have the willpower to accomplish the near impossible. Today is a glorious day and who better to celebrate it with me than Jessica Alba and her new GQ photo spread.

She is the hottest woman on the face of the planet. She reminds me of the Borat quote: This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I have ever seen. She had golden hair, teeth as white as pearls, and the asshole of a seven-year-old. For the first time in my lifes, I was in love. That's kind of like how I feel about Jessica Alba. Her face is so beautiful, her body is as petite as a ten-year-old. Heh heh. I would like to put pains in her assholes. To California! First, I have to make a pit stop...if you know what I mean.

This is day 45 and I AM RELIEVED!!!!

OnE iS tHe LoNeLiEsT nUmBeR

Day 44 - May 15, 2007

Well my boy, I've lasted 44 days! I can almost see the light. I dream of girls prancing around half naked and fully naked. I see giant hills shaped of breasts and booty. I see girls sucking on bananas and see how much they can down. I walk a little further and I see girls in schoolgirl uniforms kissing each other and having fun. Girls on top of cars.

Business women stripping to their bare essentials. Over to my left, brunettes and blondes are wrestling and boxing each other to see who has the superior hair color. Celebrities are doing the aerobic striptease and covering their female assets with technological peripherals over to my right. Then, dead straight ahead, I reach to a goddess among goddesses. Alessandra Ambrosio.

The things I want to do to her...

This is day 44 and I have become delusional.

Ass MaN

Day 41 - May 12, 2007

This is a tribute to the asses all of the hot women in the world:

I recently went to a rave and the girls there were out of this world. I got a couple of them to dance with me and let me tell you, there were wild! I felt like I was a lion or something, hunting for some prime meat, the ass of hot chicks. I got on dance floor and got "wit it." There was a lot of booty bumping and it got really hot and sweaty. So, we went back to my hotel room to cool off. I'll spare you the rest of the details of that night, but I'll say this: I am still master of my domain.

This is day 41 and I wished this bet would have never happened.

ScHooL iS oUt FoR sUmmEr!

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BrEaStAsTiC!

Day 35
Breastastic! That's what I would say to the marketing people over at Hanes. Just look at how their new women's underwear line is presented:

And Jennifer Love Hewitt as the model? Very smart and sexy. I just don't know how someone came up with putting lingerie on one of the hottest actresses with big breasts in Hollywood. All this "thinking" is making my blood rush to another part of my body. Now, if they also had Jessica Alba posing for these ads that would be SO nice! I think I am going to watch Heartbreakers tonight...
Note: Right now is finals week so I am going to be a bit behind.

This is day 35 and I am hands free.

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BrUnEttE vS. bLoNdE bOxInG

Day 29

This video got my juices flowing:

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

I loved the music. I loved the women. I even loved what they were doing. Jumping and getting all sweaty playing the Nintendo Wii. Whoever is the camera guy, bravo. You have the eye of a angel. The way pan in and out of the blonde's heaving chest and the brunette's firm body, it was beautiful. And the slow motion effects. It was timed at the right places. When the jumping and the celebration happened, the slow motion happened too. I didn't like the slow motion voices though. Sounds kinda manly. So, who won? Everyone won. Everyone won. Let's all do a victory dance.

This is day 29 and I'm hands free.

NeW LiNgErIe To ShOw

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HoTTiEs At HoLLiStEr

Day 27

A new mall opened up where I worked and one of the stores is Hollister Co.


Normally this doesn't concern me other than to buy clothes from there, but this time the people who work at Hollister bank with us. This is awesome. The employed hotties of Hollister come by the branch almost every day. Just today, three girls from Hollister came to the branch. Two of them were "very niice." Makes me want to have sexy-time in their "vazhïn." I'm just joking...................................................................................NOT! If any girls working at Hollister needs some help with banking, I can be reached at handsfree45@gmail.com. I can demonstrate my "deposits and withdrawals."

This is day 27 and Hollister only employs the hot ones. Good for me, bad for the bet.

StRiPtEaSe iS tHe NeW wOrKoUt

Day 25

I was looking on the "Interweb" and saw that Carmen Electra had posed for the Russian FHM (Who knew?).


I can't read Russian so I'll pretend the captions say, "Fuck me. Someone fuck me. I am horny." For her age she still looks as sexy as ever. Man, I bet every woman wants to look that good at her age. These pictures made me dig up my collection of Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease. Ah, exercise never looked so good. But, I can't help and wonder if anyone gets fit from these workout DVDs. I don't care. I just want to know girls who know aerobic striptease. I can't decide on Carmen's best move. It's either the dips and butt smack or the crawl. Ooh, my loins.

This is day 25 and I'm hands free.

A dReAm CoMe TrUe?

Day 24

In the world of pornographic material, you have the softcore and the hardcore, the real and the cartoon, the norm and the out-there-extreme. But there has never been video games meets girls until now. Introducing the NERDcore. Gamer girls who graciously strip down to the buff to stand, lay, and stretch behind video games and consoles.

Look at this: She is a very beautiful girl and a pretty smoking body. But the most important point is: she's IN THE NUDE with only a Nintendo Power Glove. How HOT is that?! That's hot. And what about this:

She's playing the new Super Mario Bros. game on the Nintendo DS on the TV! I think I'm in love...

This is day 24 and I'm hands free (and NERDcore).

PhOtOsHoOt In ThE tOiLeT??

Day 11

As I was perusing the internet, I came across a model named Lisa Marie Scott. It appears she is in the bathroom taking some fantastic shots of herself. I'm not bias towards one type of girls, except for the half asians. This is the proof.

Now, after seeing her (photo) spread, I did a little digging. According to Wikipedia, Scott is a third Japanese, third Scottish, and third Swiss. It says here she was also in Playboy and Married...with Children. Yummy. So, why haven't I seen her before? I guess I don't do enough "research." Wikipedia also says that she was a professional ballerina. Flexible. I like that. Now, I wish I was one of the Wonder Twins and transform myself into that toilet.

This is day 11 and I'm hands free.

WeBcAm GiRlS aRe HoT

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tAbLe FoR oNe

Day 5

My friends and I went to a Bulls game tonight. I got to see the Bulls decimated the Nets in a 105-74 victory. I paid money to see millionaires throw and shoot around a basketball. I saw the luvabulls dance their routine. Let me just say, they sure kept my mind of girls, sex, and my "extracurriculars." Afterwards, I had wanted to go for some pizza, but none of my friends wanted go (figures, right?) So, I jokingly suggested that I should reserve a table for one then. Then my lady friend, Monica, said the funniest shit tonight: "Oh, that is so sad. Do they even have those?" HI-larious. So we wind up not going and we found ourselves at McD's because parking was much easier and we got a free big mac for the Bulls victory. Damn downtown with its confusing one way streets and cab drivers. Well, my table for one is ready now.

This is day 5 and I'm hands free.

ThE vIeW iS nIcE

Day 3

When I accepted the bet, it seems more hot girls started to appear around me. Either that or I am more aware of them. The more I think about them, the easier it is for my friend to win the bet. Breasts seem bigger, lips seem fuller, butts seem tighter. I feel like the time when I started to notice girls. I have calculated my 45 days and it will be May 17, 2007 before the bet is over and I have won. It doesn't look too bad, but then again I'm only on my third day. Looks like a long road of ahead of me, so I won't bore you with the details. I'll have 42 more days to do that. Be sure to check out my videos of these blog entries at youtube.com/handsfree45. Or send me a voicemail at 630.395.7000.

This is day 3 and I'm hands free.